I was just reading some of my old post on here, and wow its been a long time since iv written anything. its amazing how writing used to make me feel so much better. How i could just get into my stories like they were happening again. How i could remember the bad, good, sad, happy memories. The memories that truly meant everything to me. The memories that made me the person i am today. Everything happens for a reason, and there is a reason why i wrote down those moments in my life. Honestly, im happy where i am well at least i i think i am. I know there are things that i do wrong and things that i need to improve but they are so difficult. Im at a point where im heart broken but im happy becuase happniess comes within me and no matter how badly someone tries to destroy me ill be happy. becuase like i said everything happens for a reason. I guess thats all, not sure if this made any sense and its most likly off topic but its how i feel at the moment. and at this moment i had to write it down.
So your back in my life..again..what am i supposed to do this time?trust you and believe you again. i mean you are trying and all but still…i dont want to get hurt..
How could i have thought that you could possibly feel something for me. How could i have thought that anyone could have had any strong feelings for me. Your miles away, thats completely impossible. You don’t care, you don’t have any feelings for me. Its all just meaningless words. How can you just throw away your words like that and not mean it. Out of every guy out there i didnt think you were like that. I keep playing that song you showed me called goodnight moon by go radio. i also just watched the video. in a way it describes us completely but its just the fairytale part. why can’t it just come true. iv been going through this crazy thing the past week trying to figure out what to do and how to change things in my life and i thought that this visit could have been something special could have changed my life in a good way. I thought that i wouldn’t keep on wondering “what if” but i would finally understand all these insane feelings I’m feeling. I guess it was just too good to be true… like always. I just wanna forget you for now. Why can’t i ?